Gottman Method Couples Therapy in Los Angeles
Maybe the two of you keep having the same argument. Maybe one of you pushes to talk while the other shuts down, or the fondness that used to come easily now feels buried under stress, schedules, and resentment. You may still love each other and simply not know how to stop the cycle.
Gottman Method couples therapy gives you practical, research-based tools to change those patterns. I’m Dr. Gabriella Azzam-Forni, a licensed clinical psychologist offering Gottman Method couples therapy in Los Angeles and online across California, New York, Texas, and Florida. If you’d like to talk it through, you can schedule a free, 15-minute consultation.
What Is The Gottman Method?
The Gottman Method is an approach to couples therapy developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, based on decades of research observing how couples interact. That research identified specific behaviors that tend to predict whether relationships stay strong or grow apart, along with the skills that help couples repair and reconnect.
The approach is structured and skill-based. Rather than only talking about problems, couples learn and practice concrete ways to manage conflict, deepen friendship and intimacy, and build a shared sense of meaning together.
Who Can Benefit From The Gottman Method?
Gottman Method couples therapy can help partners who are dealing with:
- Recurring arguments that never seem to get resolved
- Criticism, defensiveness, or contempt creeping into everyday conversations
- One partner pursuing while the other withdraws or shuts down
- Feeling more like roommates than partners
- Stress from careers, parenting, or major life transitions
- Rebuilding trust after an affair or other betrayal
- Premarital couples who want a strong foundation
The approach works with couples of all backgrounds, orientations, and relationship structures.
How Does Gottman Method Couples Therapy Work?
One of the best-known findings from the Gottmans’ research is what they call the Four Horsemen: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. These four patterns tend to erode a relationship over time. In therapy, we learn to recognize them as they happen and replace them with their antidotes: a gentle start-up instead of criticism, a culture of appreciation instead of contempt, taking responsibility instead of defensiveness, and self-soothing breaks instead of shutting down.
The work is organized around the Gottmans’ Sound Relationship House, a model of what healthy relationships are built on. It includes knowing each other’s inner worlds, sharing fondness and admiration, turning toward each other’s bids for connection, managing conflict constructively, supporting each other’s life dreams, and creating shared meaning, all held together by trust and commitment.
In practice, sessions often include:
- Slowing down a recent argument to understand what happened underneath it
- Practicing repair attempts so disagreements stop escalating
- Learning to talk about gridlocked issues without either partner feeling attacked
- Building small, daily rituals of connection
- Exercises you can practice at home between sessions
My Approach To Gottman Method Couples Therapy
I’ve completed Level 1 training in the Gottman Method through the Gottman Institute, and I integrate its tools with Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), the predominant couples therapy I use. The two approaches work well together. EFT helps couples understand the emotions and attachment needs beneath their conflict, while the Gottman Method gives them practical skills to communicate, repair, and reconnect day to day.
Since writing my doctoral dissertation on the role of early attachment in intimate relationships, my focus has been helping partners feel safe and understood with each other. Some couples come in wanting better communication. Others are recovering from a betrayal, and in those cases I also draw on Gottman-informed approaches to rebuilding trust as part of affair recovery and infidelity therapy.
I welcome couples of all backgrounds and orientations, and I tailor the work to your relationship rather than applying a one-size-fits-all program. You can learn more about my broader couples therapy practice as well.
What To Expect, Including Couples Intensives
We start with a free, 15-minute consultation so you can ask questions and see whether we’re a good fit. From there:
- Weekly sessions: Most couples meet weekly for 50-minute sessions (the first session is generally 60 minutes).
- Couples intensives: I also offer intensives, longer focused sessions for couples who want to make significant progress in a shorter time, or whose schedules make weekly sessions difficult. We can talk through whether an intensive is a good fit during your consultation.
- Format: In person in Los Angeles, or via telehealth in California, New York, Texas, and Florida.
- Fees and insurance: See my fees and insurance page.
Couples therapy isn’t appropriate when there is ongoing intimate partner violence. If safety is a concern, I’ll talk with you about other options.
Frequently Asked Questions About The Gottman Method
How Is The Gottman Method Different From EFT?
Both are research-based approaches to couples therapy. EFT focuses on the emotions and attachment needs that drive a couple’s conflict cycle, while the Gottman Method focuses on specific skills and behaviors, like managing conflict and building friendship. I use them together so couples get both deeper emotional understanding and practical tools. You can read more about EFT couples therapy.
What Are The Four Horsemen?
The Four Horsemen are four communication patterns the Gottmans’ research links to relationship distress: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. Most couples fall into some of them under stress. The goal isn’t to never experience them, but to notice them and replace them with healthier responses.
How Long Does Gottman Method Therapy Take?
It depends on what brings you in. Some couples notice meaningful changes within a few months of weekly sessions, while others with longer-standing patterns or a betrayal to work through need more time. Intensives can also help couples make focused progress more quickly. We’ll talk about goals and pacing early on.
What Is A Couples Therapy Intensive?
An intensive is a longer, concentrated block of couples therapy rather than one 50-minute session a week. It can help couples who are at a crossroads, who want to make significant progress quickly, or whose schedules make weekly sessions hard. We’ll discuss the format, length, and whether it’s a good fit during your consultation.
Can We Do Gottman Method Therapy Online?
Yes. I offer telehealth sessions for couples who live in California, New York, Texas, or Florida, as well as in-person sessions in Los Angeles. Many couples find online sessions just as effective, and they can make scheduling much easier.
Will There Be Homework?
Often, yes. Much of the change happens between sessions, so I may suggest short exercises or conversations to practice at home. They’re designed to fit into real life, not add another chore.
Can The Gottman Method Help After An Affair?
Yes. The Gottmans developed a specific framework for rebuilding trust after infidelity, and I integrate it with EFT in my work with couples recovering from betrayal. Learn more about affair recovery and infidelity therapy.
What If Only One Of Us Wants Couples Therapy?
That’s common. It’s often helpful to start with a consultation so the more hesitant partner can ask questions and see what the process is actually like. Many partners feel more comfortable once they see that therapy isn’t about assigning blame.
Turn Toward Each Other Again
Whether you’re caught in the same argument again and again or simply want to feel closer, the Gottman Method can give you practical tools to turn toward each other. If you’re looking for Gottman Method couples therapy in Los Angeles or online, you can schedule a free, 15-minute consultation to learn more and see whether we’re a good fit.